Half as happy

Categories of positive human experiences.

There is a reductionist theory that goes like this.

The key 4 elements can boil down to the chemical counterpart in the brain.

No matter if the experience was a imagined or not.

Elemental happiness

Endorphin, the endurance chemical.

Dopamine, the reward chemical.

Serotonin, the security chemical.

Oxytocin, the love chemical.

While it might not be completely true, it might shed some light on this concept.

Selfish are the chemicals that you can get by yourself.

Selfless requires an interaction with another person.

Short term is usually experienced for a small duration of time.

Long term is usually more long drawn.

I would like to think that these 4 pillars symbolise what humans are driven to do due to their biology.

After all, humans have a terminal addiction to water.

The paradox

The reason why people are not satisfied with how happy they are, is because we are only half as happy.

You might have taken a look at that chart and think to yourself.

“Now that I know what I need to make myself happy, I can go and complete the whole set!”

If you understood it, you’ll realise that Selfless is there.

Lack of self.

When you’re doing it to make yourself happy, you failed the condition.

The first happy

I have no issues with people deriving dopamine or endorphins from their source of choice.

Most people gravitate towards their most reliable source when they feel negative.

Music, self improvement, exercise, alcohol, etc.

Broke up with someone?

Hit the clubs! Read your massive backlog of articles! Time to hit the gym! Drink away your sorrows!

Sounds familiar?

Almost all activities that elicit pleasure by yourself falls into this category.

The actions that you take have consequences that start and end with you

It feels good to achieve the goals that you set for yourself. It feels like you have some form of control over your fate and that invigorates you.

We wear traumatic events and tragedies like badges of honour. The painful memories come in the form of nostalgia, the return of old pain. It releases the endorphins to encourage us to face the danger. In return, we get the bittersweet memories.

The obsession with the self, makes people work harder for their own sakes.

And that’s ok.

That’s how we find personal happiness and fulfilment.

The second happy

If you are a dopamine and endorphin fuelled machine, you are only working at 50%.

There is there is something resembling a god or spirit.

There are many interpretations on what it is, but every culture has them.

Intangible concepts. Figments of the imagination. You know what I’m talking about.

To separate this from the religious connotation of god.

Some people will call it community, but it sounds too close to Communism.

Some might call it society, but it sounds too close to Socialism.

I’ll be referring to this concept as Reteanim, spirit of the network.

I want it sound wrong and weird.

To take up a different box in your head instead of meshing with pre existing concepts.

One quick way to determine the core of your Reteanim.

What you pay attention and time to is a good indicator.

It can be a person or activity, there’s usually a word that you can use to communicate it to another.

You get called to serve Reteanim from time to time.

Youtubers do this all the time: “Don’t forget to like, subscribe and hit the bell!”

And when you do, you get an emotional rush.

Why it can work

Reteanim is the key to unlocking the other half of happiness.

Blind faith is a prerequisite for selfless acts. The flow state is one that integrates your conscious thought with your unconscious. Reuniting the fragments of your mind.

The kind of strength summoned for another.

Once your mind fights for your benefit, is when this form of happiness leaves your body.

This is the reason why you can only fight so hard for yourself, but you can fight even harder for your loved ones.

Conservation of energy means that you always had that kind of energy within you. However, there are unlock conditions to access that reserve energy.

It is important to note that these relationships are never rational, they’re emotional.

Unlike energy, there is no conservation of emotion or sensation.

Emotion can arrive and disappear into the void as a reaction from our actions.

Store the intention of wanting to help individuals in Reteanim.

This is the way the second half of happiness can be given to you.

Your effort returned, cleansed by the Reteanim.

How to build?

It can come in many forms.

Like the Reteanim that you already contribute to, it centres about an interest of yours.

Here are the steps

1. Design focused purpose:
   What is the common interest that will bring people together?
   One of the conditions this needs to fulfil is that it cannot be a selfish goal.
   Get more money, get more power, get better at something doesn’t work.
   The point is to act as a wishing well, people throw things in and hope for a better future.

2. Positioning:
   Online or offline, pick a platforms that facilitates the preferred communication methods.
   Make your existence known to the public so that you can share more with them.

3. Contribute:
   Generosity of time and energy. Never money
   Never ask for anything in return,
   Build the mythos, library of stories.

4. Support:
   Reach out to each other 1 on 1 to get to know them.
   Hosting events and discussion groups.
   Resources and opportunities for growth.
   Workshops, mentorship programs, or access to personalised resources.

5. Gatekeep:
   Correct alignment to the purpose and focus
   Any deviation from the original purpose should form an affiliated Reteanim
   Toxicity identified and removed

6. Consistency:
   Keep it going for as long as possible, as much as you can.
   Sustainability and safety

This is the rough framework that I managed to come up with. After running a few groups to the ground and being unable to live up to the expectations.

If you have any experience building something that resembles this from the ground up. I would love to compare notes with you.

Contact me on Twitter.