Collapse Probability
Commitment is scary.
The continual bombardment of ideas about what we could be and what we are able to do.
We can do anything, but not everything
There came a point in my life where I had to choose what my future career was.
Every decision up to this point felt that they had consequences that lasted for at most the next 5 years. (I later realised that those choices had far reaching consequences but that is a story for a later date)
One huge decision, the tipping point, the point of no return
Call it what you will.
I whittled down my options based on my abilities.
I narrowed it down to Engineering and Computer Science.
Even then I didn’t want to commit to either one and went straight down the middle.
Computer Engineering, the tactical choice of sitting on the fence. Something felt wrong, something always had and I didn’t have the words to explain it then.
The derivation of the answer from the constraints and goals at hand was logical and valid.
I don’t think there was another way because I didn’t know then what I know now.
Systems are always designed to cater to the needs of the masses. I’m not a priority and I shouldn’t be. This comfort, this false sense of security is addicting. Do as you’re told, think as you’re told, live as you’re told. Parental, rigid, suffocating.
Uncertainty is always there. Yet we design our lives as if it is something undesirable, an annoyance.
Planning for the future feels as if we are instructing what the future needs to be. If it falls out of line, it is somehow our fault that it didn’t go through.
We are encouraging people to plan so that they can develop false assurance in their future.
Investment planning
Retirement planning
Holiday planning
It finally feels like we are in control, getting our lives into order and gaining clarity.
And it falls apart, time and again, and again we do it. Vowing to be better this time.
Here is my suggested alternative.
Develop a healthier relationship with this spectre we call Uncertainty.
Here’s 2 things you need to know about our new friend.
Uncertainty looks like a lack of focus, but it’s your permission to step back and take a broader view.
The things that Uncertainty don’t get along with.
I want you to do a simple exercise with me.
Step 1: Put your face as close as possible to your screen without touching it
Step 2: Try to read this and kinda fail (welcome back to actual step 2)
Step 3: Put it closer and closer until it starts to blur
Reaching greatest clarity is why you think that Uncertainty is a problem. Getting any closer and focusing any harder isn’t providing more clarity.
This is your permission and sign to take a step back. To make the decision easier, there are other factors in your life that you can take into consideration, .
Get comfy and don’t strain yourself.
Embrace Uncertainty because it’s a friend. (Here’s a reminder to hug your homies)
By increasing the range of our perception, we become more aware because we have a larger horizon. More time to contemplate, think and react to these changes.
Approaching life as a checklist, leads to preconceived notions. Details of the events cut away to squeeze them into neat little boxes.
Your sky is full of stars, of possibilities. During the day, the one singular thing that dominates your mind is the Sun.
The night sky is beautiful. Keep the little specks scattered in your mind. These specks are oftentimes brighter and hotter than the sun. Each the center of their own system, covered in cosmic dust. It is by being comfortable with the dark where you make the most out of what these little surprises can provide.
Uncertainty’s dislikes
Things that Uncertainty don’t get along with, Productivity and Certainty (duh.)
Productivity is collection of routines and habits, that cultivate value. It requires you to make a plan, stick to the plan, and execute it for a fixed period.
Traditional educational institutions train you to do this. There’s an expectation for you to learn a fixed syllabus.
Follow the lesson plan and hand up assignments on time.
There is a time and place for everything and any deviation is seen to be a flaw. And of course they reward you with grades and certifications.
This means that Productivity works in a static environment. Controlled variables, small scale and falls apart when the conditions are not maintained.
You need defined goals.
Making the repeated trade of time, effort and attention for progress.
This is made possible the frameworks and skills learnt in school.
There is the implicit assumption that concentrated effort, translates to enhanced competency. By believing that you are correct, it makes you better.
Like the static, dead, unchanging conditions that Productivity requires to thrive. The mind that worships productivity is very much the same. 100 hour work weeks, hustle culture, Grindset.
The continual sacrifice of the other aspects of life on the altar of Productivity.
I like Uncertainty more.
Next up is Certainty, the yang to the yin.
Certainty is great, we go to great lengths to extract certainty and facts from the unknown for a reason. It puts the bacon on the table, and who doesn’t like some good old fashioned crispy bacon. And even if you’re not into bacon, nobody likes soggy or burnt meat.
For example, there are some parents who would answer work calls and messages at the dining table. Instead of bonding with their children, they choose to be present for their boss instead. It is a direct way of getting more money because their boss is their source of income.
As they say, short term gain, long term pain. Your children are going to remember that.
Taking out your phone while a loved one is talking is taking away an opportunity to connect. Every positive expectation gamble you reject, because you want the certainty of failure.
Welcome to midlife crisis 101.
Welcome to abandonment.
Welcome to a life of 100% absolute Certainty.
Uncertainty isn’t bad, it’s a property of the Future.
And if we are to embrace and look towards the Future.
We must also look to and embrace Uncertainty.
Observation causes the wave function of Uncertainty to collapse.
And if you ask me if sure it’ll be worth it?
I’m not too sure and that’s ok :D
